The Hills Have Eyes: Part II

#24 in my ranking of Wes Craven's filmography. Well, it was in focus, at least. Made before A Nightmare on Elm Street, left uncompleted with only three-quarters of the film actually shot, and then hastily assembled with a heavy amount of footage from the first film right afterwards to try and capitalize on Wes Craven's…

Rollerball (2002)

#11 in my Ranking of John McTiernan films. I'm not sure I've ever seen a talented director faceplant as hard as John McTiernan does here. This goes beyond bad story choices, performances, and unfortunate effects. There's an amateurishness pervasive through this film that makes it feel like the first film of a film student given…

BloodRayne

Of the four Uwe Boll films I've seen, I think that this might be the worst. It's stiff competition, for sure, but there's something extra inept, amateurish, misguided, and unappealing about BloodRayne. All of Boll's staples are here from inexplicably unnatural dialogue to incredibly dull performances to incomprehensible action scenes to flat cinematography, it's all…

Postal

I sort of understand the reason why, but I hate myself for it. I decided to watch a handful of Uwe Boll films. Just a few that I can easily watch without effort (there are a shocking number available on Amazon Prime), but I've instantly regretted this decision. Uwe Boll has said that Postal is…

mother!

"Do you get it?!" -American treasure, the well-groomed Jay Bauman I despise this movie, and it's not because it's vehemently anti-Catholic and misanthropic. No, I hate this movie because it's terrible. Finishing the movie, I perused the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, reading positive and negative alike. The common themes from the positive were: "bold", "thought…